All children get the silly's sometimes. They act up when you know they can do better. But what about the child who regularly regresses?
We all loose control at times, especially when we are under stress. So first it is best to ensure that your child isn’t suffering one of the 4 s’s.
1. Could they be Sleepy, Starving, Sick or Stressed?
Are they sleep-deprived?
Are they starving?
Are they Sick?
Could they be stressed?
So you have performed a system check and all seems to be in order, but your 6 year old is lying on the floor saying gaga -go goo, and he's not playing, what else could be the problem?
2. New Baby Envy
A common reason for regressive behavour is the birth of a new baby. The older child sees the baby getting attention for crying or gooing. Suddenly they want to have a bottle or dummy and cry and whimper when they don't get their own way.
This is very common and quite normal. Kids are natural mimics and truth is it was not that long ago they were getting the special treatment.
9. Unbalanced bio-chemisty
There are many things that can upset neurotransmitter balance. When our neurochemistry is off, its similar to being tired, stressed or hungry, we just can’t control ourselves. Children are especially vulnerable to toxins, nutrient imbalances, metal overloads or amino acid deficiency because their system is immature. This is a whole other area but worth looking into with an integrative doctor if the problem persists.
10. Need for more nurturing
When all of the possible physical causes are investigated, we need to look into the child’s emotional world. What is going on in there? We will never really know for sure but consider this. Could your child’s baby-like behaviour be expressing an unmet developmental need?Do they just need a little more love and this is the only way they can ask for it?
Are you so distracted and busy that they never really feel they have your full attention, your love, you?
Is their baby behaviour an innocent bid to meet their needs for nurture and attention?
What would happen if you responded to this? Try joining them there and see what happens. Fill them up with them being your little baby again in a playful loving way. Hold them on your lap, swaddle or stroke them and don’t worry they will stay acting like a baby, they can’t.
Children have a natural urge toward growth, if they get what they need at each stage they are naturally propelled forward. But if we try to push them to a stage of development before their time because we need them to ‘be big’ then they miss out on the things that are crucial to the earlier stages of life.
Can we get addicted to love? And what if that ‘love’ is not good love?
Many times I counsel women who struggle to let go of a lover who they know is not good for them. Guys that are cheaters, drinkers, gamblers or just plain mean... most of the time. So what is the attraction?
Well, the rest of the time, or at least at some stage in the relationship (usually the blissful beginning) these guys weren’t bad at all. In fact they may have promised to be just the guy she was looking for. They were charming, or funny, or seemed so interested in the woman in question that she feel for him.
Or maybe she didn’t, maybe this guy just slipped and grew on her. Whatever the pattern, an attraction was established so by the time she found the ‘fly in the ointment’, this guy was part of her life, and most importantly, part of her mind.
Can't she do any better?
So why is it so hard for her to just leave him behind?
Does she have such low self esteem she doesn’t think she can do any better? Well, sadly sometimes this is true.
Other times it is a case of ‘better the devil you know’ and women settle for second best because somewhere they believe that he’s as good as it gets.
The work here is clear, help this woman understand the origin of her beliefs about her self and relationships, then work toward building her self worth and ultimately create the space for attracting the kind of guy who can give her what she really deserves.
Here are 5 reasons why a sane woman can’t leave a crazy relationship
To give him up, to let go of the positive feelings (even if they were built on a flimsy hope for better behaviour), sends her literally into withdrawal. For what ever reason she’s addicted to love, bad love.
Recovery takes time and like any addiction may need the assistance of a 'sponsor' a completely objective person who is there to help you through. If you are ready to let go of someone you know is not good for you first you have to want to let go, then you need to understand why it feels so difficult.
Stay tuned for my blog on 12 Steps to recovering from a bad love addiction.
Neurotransmitter levels can affect your mood, but did you know that other chemical processes in your body can have a also profound affect on how you feel?
Quick Bite (for those of you with little time for details)
Long Lunch (read on if you would like to know more)
Behind the scenes in our brain
Our thoughts, feelings and reactions are all the result of a mass of brain cells (neurons) communicating information. Brain cells don’t touch, they transmit information chemically and electrically.
The three main neurotransmitters that effect mood are also effected by methylation.
Mind the gap
Simply put, in order for signal transmission to run smoothly we need:
It’s all over every blog, book or theory on building a business of any kind; “Don’t waste your energy trying to do it all, but point your energy and time on one narrowed down specailised area and this will lead to success.” Find a niche- specialise and you will be successful in business.
Try as I might a 'niche' eludes me. I can’t seem to set my sights on just one tree when there is an amazing forest before my eyes. I find people, their lives, their minds, their relationships, their bodies, their environment, their everything is interconnected.
How can I point my energy in one spot when there is so much consider about human life? I think people who can concentrate on one area are amazing. I envy their focus and commitment, but I have failed business 101.