New parents often spend hours going to birthing classes to prepare for one day yet what is far more important is what to do for the rest of the baby's life, yet how many people or partners examine their beliefs and values around being an actual parent? Having a session as a couple to discuss tricky issues around expectations of being a parent before the baby is born can solve a lot of misunderstandings once bubs comes home. Discuss the big ticket items like
Who gets up to the baby at night, who changes bubs?
What is changing in home based duties
How long will each parent take off work
What are your values are - health, how to settle baby, leaving baby with others, co-sleeping
How will you split income, who pays for baby?
Sex, when will it resume, how often?
Discipline when baby is older
Relationship conflict with New Parents
Parenting is challenging. We have an assumption that parenting is instinctive and that we should know what to do, but in fact it's not. Our instinct is to nurture and protect and how we go about doing this is up to us.
Being the parents of a new baby can pose huge changes and challenges. Not only has the relationship changed but new babies can bring up issues and strains parents didn't even know they had. Ideally you work through these prior to the baby arriving but issues in the early days are remarkebly common but feel particularly difficult. Seeking extra support as a couple at this delicate time is a sign of resourcing support.
Clarissa is a qualified and experienced couples counsellor having worked with Relationships Australis and has trained in the PACT method of couples counselling. Being a parent is the single most important role you will have in your life.